


Alterations

by ryfkah



Category: Gyeongseong Scandal | Capital Scandal
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2057601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryfkah/pseuds/ryfkah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's left is Yeong Ran, in clothes that don't fit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alterations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [betony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betony/gifts).



None of Cha Song Joo's fashionable dresses ever fit Yeong Ran. None of Cha Song Joo's dresses ever fit any of the other girls. It was clear from the beginning that this would be the case – Song Joo-unni was too tall, her figure too long – but that hadn't stopped any of them from taking their turn to sneak into her closet. There was one white, sheer-haltered chiffon dress in particular that Yeong Ran had been desperate to see herself in. When she pulled it over her head, it floofed down past her knees and poofed around her calves. She stared down at the piles of white fluff, not even really able to be disappointed – she was too busy marveling at how one person could make a piece of fabric into the most sophisticated and glamorous thing ever worn in Joseon, and another person mysteriously transform it into something a ten-year-old might wear to a birthday party. There was nothing to be done about it. It was just the way things were, it was the people that they were. Really, she had known how it would be. 

She became aware that she was not explaining this as eloquently as she had hoped. She blew her dripping nose, loudly, with the handkerchief that Teacher Na's mother had put into her hand, and tried again. “So you see? It's just impossible. I can't be a person like that –” She didn't actually know her name, other than 'Teacher Na's mother.' If she worked in the bookstore too, then she was probably also a teacher, or at least it wouldn't be rude to call her that. “Teacher, I just can't!”

Teacher – the older Teacher; she still didn't know what had happened to Teacher Na Yeo Kyung, nobody knew, they had all just gone, or been shot and pushed in the river maybe, except the police were still looking for them, so probably not, but you never knew, nobody knew anything – Teacher Na's mother patted her hand soothingly. “It's difficult, the things you have been asked to do.”

“Difficult!” Yeong Ran wailed. “Teacher! Finding places for five girls to stay that are safe from the police – finding a way to retrieve our belongings from the courtesan house, now that it's always under investigation – finding new places for us all to work, places that will treat us well, and not tell anybody where we were before – telling all of them things that are reassuring! Being reassuring when there is nothing at all to reassure anyone about!” She was not wailing anymore, but shouting. A courtesan was never supposed to raise her voice. She could not remember ever hearing Cha Song Joo screaming, not even once. “It's not difficult, Teacher, it's impossible! I'm not a person that can do this! Song Joo-unni was a person like that, a special kind of person, but I'm not any different from any of the others! Me trying to be like her, it's like a duck getting on stilts and pretending to be a white crane! The duck's just going to fall down!” 

Teacher Na's mother was still managing to look soothing. It was amazing. The woman's own daughter might be anywhere in the whole world, or not in the world at all. And yet, in spite of how very much she knew better, Yeong Ran could not help but feel soothed. Perhaps the talent of bestowing this kind of reassurance was a gift that you got when you were older and already used to horrible things happening. “You say it's impossible,” said Teacher Na's mother, gently. “But haven't you already done most of those impossible things? You got all the girls safely out of Seoul before the police decided to bring them in --”

“That was only because of the generosity of Se Gi-oppa's parents – ”

“-- and you made it back into the city today without anybody noticing you or suspecting you. That's wonderful!”

“In these ugly clothes?” Yeong Ran tugged uncomfortably at her plain peasant's hanbok. “I should hope nobody would recognize me! I'd die of embarrassment if they did!” 

Teacher Na's mother snorted a little at that. 

“I don't see what's funny,” said Yeong Ran, resentfully. “I still have a reputation, too. If I want to be taken in at another house --”

But that was the difficulty, wasn't it? There weren't, after all, so many places like the courtesan house of which Cha Song Joo was the head – not in occupied Seoul, anyway. They had all known how fortunate they were. They would not be so fortunate again. 

Yeong Ran had gone to three houses today. Only one of them had agreed to take two of the girls and brave the risk of being accused of harboring conspirators. There was another that she knew of, that didn't mind risk, and was known for discretion – but her heart sank in her chest at the thought of any of them going to that place; it was not a good place for a girl to be. And yet it was better than nothing. She didn't want to make that decision, and so instead of making it she had decided to risk going to the bookshop, to see if anyone could tell her news of all the others, In Ho and Woo Wan-oppa and Teacher Na – and when she had turned away at the sight of the empty door and ransacked shelves, someone else had told her where she might find Teacher Na's mother instead, and then somehow a quick stop to ask for news had turned into this. Sitting here, in dirty old clothes, sobbing out all her troubles to a near-stranger who had more than troubles enough of her own. 

Belatedly she realized that Teacher Na's mother had asked her a question. “What?” she asked, enormously graceless, and at this moment not able to care.

“I asked, will it be a problem for you, then? To be going to the other courtesan houses, dressed as you are?”

Yeong Ran wrinkled her nose. “I can worry about that if I'm able to find the other girls places. But --” Seeing the other woman's expression, she broke off. “Don't look like that! I'm not being heroic. Only someone had to do it, and the others all acted as if it would naturally be me, because Song Joo-unni was kind to me often, and I couldn't say no! But it shouldn't be me. If Song Joo-unni had not died or, if Geun Duk had lived either --” 

Teacher Na's mother was looking at her now with something like concern. “You sound as if you were angry at them.” 

“Noooo, not – ” Yeong Ran bit her lip. Why should she not say what she thought? She was dressed like a gauche, dirty peasant; there was no reason not to act like one. “Yes! I'm angry at all of them! Song Joo-unni, and Geun Duk, and Teacher Na, and Woo Wan-oppa, and, and In Ho, and everybody – everybody who went away and left us so that there's nobody to help me but – but Se Gi and Wang Gol! Se Gi!” Se Gi, whose naked picture from the scandal-sheets was now being used for a search by the Japanese police; who had sobbed in Yeong Ran's lap over the bulletholes in his hat. 

“Well,” said Teacher Na's mother. “Well.” She smiled, a little ruefully. “I'm glad you said that. I think I'm a little angry, too. It's very foolish of me, because I'm sure my Yeo Kyung is following the course I would have advised for her, if she had asked me. But I suppose us human beings can't avoid a little foolishness.” Before Yeong Ran could do more than blink and try to formulate a response, Teacher Na's mother patted her hand again, and said soothingly, “Still, it seems to me you're doing very well.”

She was not. She was not doing well. But she had already been graceless enough. Yeong Ran looked down at her hands, trying to find the will to walk up and away, and face the decisions that still had to be made today, and the work that still had to be done. Cha Song Joo would had some clever solution to take care of everything by now, but Yeong Ran was tired of walking, and tired of thinking. The rough clothes chafed her skin, and her feet hurt.

“Didn't my daughter borrow your clothes once?” asked Teacher Na's mother. 

Yeong Ran was caught off-guard again. “What?” 

“There was that time, wasn't there? One of the times that the bookstore was being watched – well, you know --” Teacher Na's mother laughed a little. “There have been so many of those, I'm not surprised you can't remember.” 

“No, I remember. Ah, she looked so pretty!” Yeong Ran couldn't help sighing a little. It made her depressed to think about it. So many times, Yeong Ran had wished Teacher Na would let her take her shopping; it would be a way to at least give her a kind of something back, for everything that Teacher Na had given her. But Teacher Na never would let herself be pretty unless there was some high-minded purpose to it. 

“Your clothes fit her well,” agreed Teacher Na's mother. “You're close to the same size.”

“Me and Teacher Na?” Yeong Ran frowned. “She's a great person and I respect her very much, but she and I are nothing alike.”

“No, I suppose not.” Teacher Na's mother gave another small laugh. “My Yeo Kyung wouldn't have had the least idea how to find the other young women who worked for Miss Cha Song Joo new places of work, for a start.”

Yeong Ran made an earnest attempt at picturing it – Na Yeo Kyung, the last woman of Joseon, storming into the largest courtesan house in Seoul and demanding that they hire all of Cha Song Joo's proteges immediately, for the sake of the nation and the independence movement. The imagined look on Head Courtesan Ye-Hi's face almost made up for the smugness of her rejection an hour ago. She put her hand up to her mouth, feeling a bubble of laughter in her throat. 

“So perhaps it's fortunate that –” Whatever the other woman had been about to say was interrupted by a rap on the door, in a distinct pattern: first two, then three. Teacher Na's mother jumped, and Yeong Ran's eyes widened. 

“Should I go?” she whispered.

Teacher Na's mother shook her head, and gestured to Yeong Ran to stand behind the door. Then she arranged her face back into the same expression of gentle patience, and went to open the door.

The young man who sidled awkwardly into the room reminded Yeong Ran suddenly and painfully of In Ho. “I have a letter,” he said, in a loud whisper, while Yeong Ran was busy getting her heart to un-constrict. “For a woman named Choi Hak Hee.”

“I am Choi Hak Hee,” answered Teacher Na's mother – Teacher Choi, apparently – which was one mystery solved, at least.

“This is for you. I can't tell you where it came from.” He handed it over and shuffled hastily back out before Yeong Ran could call out to him, which was just as well, probably. She'd only wanted to tell him to move with more subtlety, or he'd be caught by the police, and make some girl sad. 

Teacher Choi was looking down at the letter. Her face was very still. Then, abruptly, she shoved it over to Yeong Ran. 

“What?” said Yeong Ran, for the third time. “What? It's not for me!”

“Please,” said Teacher Choi, quietly. “My hands are shaking – it's difficult for me to hold it straight.”

Yeong Ran gulped, and unfolded the letter – and then gasped, and almost dropped it herself. “This writing is Teacher Na's!”

“Yes.”

It was fortunate that Yeong Ran was so familiar with Teacher Na's calligraphy. The characters looked just the same as they had when Teacher Na had first shown them to her on a slate, falling easily back into her mind with no unfamiliar quirks to throw her off. She swallowed. “Mother,” she read out. 

_Mother, I'm so sorry I was not able to see you before we escaped. I know in my heart that you are well and safe. I'm sure Father's friends have helped you and protected you from the anger of the oppressors. Still, I'm sorry. Every day I wish that I could see you on the next. I won't ask you to come to us. Our life will be too –_

“What is that?” asked Yeong Ran, helplessly, somehow unable to make the syllables resolve into a word. 

“Dangerous,” answered Teacher Choi, quietly.

_Our life now will be too dangerous to share it with you. I know you will continue to do whatever you can to continue the fight. Sun Woo Wan –_

Yeong Ran stopped. “Sun Woo Wan! Honestly, why not just say Oppa? We all know how things are by now!” She paused, then flushed red. “Sorry.” But she wasn't that sorry, when she saw Teacher Choi give a small smile in response. 

_Sun Woo Wan and I have sworn to do our part to the end. Lee Su Hyun is also safe. You will know by now that he was never as he seemed. Maybe you knew it before I did. You will know by now also that Lee Kang Gu is dead, though in spite of everything I wish it was not so. I have written to his mother back in the village, but I think she would be glad to hear from you as well._

Yeong Ran stopped again. “Did I read that right? Is that right?” That Na Yeo Kyung should know that awful Policeman Lee Kang Gu's mother –

“Yes,” said Teacher Choi. Her hands gripped each other tightly. “You're doing very well. Keep going.”

_As for our In Ho –_

Yeong Ran swallowed, and forced her lip to stop quivering.

_As for our In Ho, I will do my best to find his sister myself._

_Mother, please write back, if you can, and send it by the messenger who came to you. Knowing in my heart that you're safe is not the same as seeing it on the page. And there are others that we worry for, too. I won't put their names here, in case this letter falls into –_

“Dangerous,” Yeong Ran sounded out, carefully; she had no difficulty recognizing the word this time.

_– falls into dangerous hands. If you have news, send it. If you have hope, keep fighting. I love you very much._

“That's all,” said Yeong Ran, after a long moment of silence. “That's all there is. I think it's right – I'm not sure about all of the words. I think it's right.” 

“It was very good.” Teacher Choi reached out, and closed her hand on Yeong Ran's, tightly. “You did well. Thank you, So Yeong Ran.” 

Yeong Ran sat there, caught halfway between unutterable relief and unutterable resentment. She didn't know what she had expected, when word from Teacher Na finally came. Some kind of advice, anyway. Some kind of answer. Maybe not the same answer that Song Joo-unni would have given, but an answer, anyway. 'There are others that we worry for' – that was her, she knew, and the other girls; that was Se Gi, Wang Gol, Tak Gu. Well, what good did worry do them? They had never been the ones to make the decisions – they had never had to be – so weren't people like Teacher Na, people with determination and purpose, supposed to tell them what to do? 

But none of those people were here now. They weren't here, so they couldn't know the answers. What remained was So Yeong Ran, in clothes that didn't fit. 

Teacher Choi, her voice almost steady, said, “Would you like to stay, and help me to write a letter back before you go? It will make Yeo Kyung happy to see that you're still practicing.” 

Yeong Ran took a deep breath. “Yes.” Teacher Na would know her hesitant baby-writing, so she wouldn't have to put down her name, and put herself at risk. That was the kind of thing Cha Song Joo would have thought about; it was startling to find herself thinking it too. “Yes – I'll stay to help you write. I'll let her know that I'm taking care of things, and we're well.”

**Author's Note:**

> This owes a lot to all my betas, but especially Shati, who knows ... significantly more than I do about the Korean alphabet.


End file.
